1.  Columbus (PR = 1) (PS = 7.39)

Columbus clinched the Supporter’s Shield!  Go Massive!  Anyway, they didn’t look sharp against Chicago in a game that could (and maybe should) have ended 4-4.  Let’s hope they don’t slack for the next two games; otherwise, they may return to Columbus in a big hole in the second leg of the first round of the playoffs.

2.  Chivas USA (2) (7.02)

These guys are really coming on and have at least an outside shot of overtaking Houston for the Western Conference championship.  More importantly, they definitely could threaten Houston’s recent dominance in the West in the playoffs.

3.  Houston (4) (5.99)

Houston continues to cruise towards home-field advantage.  But will they trip up tonight against a desperate San Jose team?

4.  Chicago (5) (5.29)

Chicago isn’t yet back in form, but seeing McBride score finally has got to warm some hearts in Chi-town.

5.  Kansas City (9) (5.23)

As it stands, KC is on the doorstep of the playoffs.  It looks like they’re going to prove me both right and wrong… or wrong and right.  Not sure.

6.  FC Dallas (6) (5.14)

Dallas is far from set for a playoff spot and they have two road games left after RSL and the Galaxy.  For their sake, they best hope that the Galaxy have been eliminated by the time that last game comes around.

7.  New England (7) (4.70)

New England is in the playoffs already, but the fact that they’re the lowest-ranked team to have clinched a spot doesn’t bode well for them.  Nor, of course, does Ralston’s broken leg.

8T.  Real Salt Lake (8) (4.33)

Ha!  Not to toot my own horn, but given the current playoff car-wreck, isn’t it funny and apt that three teams are tied for eighth, i.e., the last playoff spot.  Ha!  Personally, I’m thinking that RSL will emerge from this mess with the berth.

8T.  Los Angeles (12) (4.33)

LA stays alive, but for how long?

8T.  Toronto (14) (4.33)

Toronto is barely clinging to life, but they have a scheduling advantage: their next game is against Chicago, who have clinched a playoff berth, and they finish against San Jose, who’s likely to have been eliminated by then.  Then again, Toronto is likely to have been eliminated by then as well.

11.  Colorado (3) (4.13)

Colorado doesn’t have the Mo right now.

12.  New York (11) (3.64)

New York is playing flat-out ugly soccer right now.

13.  San Jose (10) (3.50)

They appear to have run out-of-gas just short of the finish line, but can get a second wind (mix metaphors much?) if they beat Houston.

14.  DC United (13) (3.21)

If New York is playing ugly soccer, then DC is playing some other, far uglier sport entirely.  Like hockey.

1.  Columbus Crew (LW = 1) (PS = 7.90)

Columbus did what they needed to do against New England, winning a wet, sloppy game against New England in the rain.  It wasn’t pretty, except at the back, where Chad Marshall keeps making a case for Defender of the Year or national team consideration.

2.  Chivas USA (4) (6.23)

Chivas has won four out of its last five, and a team that was a bottom-dweller along with LA just a few scant weeks ago is looking like the closest thing to a second playoff lock in the West.  But, like everyone else in that Conference, they could be on the outside looking in if they don’t keep putting points up.

3.  Colorado (8) (5.79)

Colorado has been left for dead more often than a horror movie villain.  (“Don’t worry, we killed him this time.”)  And now that you mention it Conor Casey kind of looks the part.  Anyway, they’ve turned it on as of late and managed to win that surprisingly shoot-out in NY.

4.  Houston (2) (5.75)

Toronto may stink — okay, they do stink — but it’s still an accomplishment to go into BMO Field and get a point, even if it is on a Toronto own-goal.  Houston has a playoff spot in its grasp.  Don’t expect them to relinquish home-field advantage in the West.

5.  Chicago (7) (5.65)

Chicago found its offensive rhythm against the Los Angeles Pylons, I mean, Galaxy.

6.  FC Dallas (10) (5.39)

I’m tired of coming up with ways to say that a Western Conference team once appeared dead and now isn’t.

7.  New England (3) (5.23)

What is going on with New England.  I know they’re a little banged up, but the worst part about their game against Columbus is that they never looked like getting back into it, even after going up a man.

8.  Real Salt Lake (13) (4.61)

Real Salt Lake finally won away from home!  And Alecko Eskendarian did more than run around a little and look pissed off.  Could they too be turning things around?

9.  Kansas City (6) (4.54)

KC looks like Columbus last year.  They’ll string their fans along until the last week before finally bowing out of playoff contention.

10.  San Jose (5) (4.46)

Is this the end of the Cinderella resurgence?

11.  New York (9) (3.88)

Giving up five goals at home to the Rapids is not cool, not cool at all.

12.  Los Angeles (11) (3.87)

Things are desperate for the Galaxy, and a trip to Columbus isn’t anyone’s idea of a good time this season.  Let’s hope that the Crew learned from Chicago the value of putting pressure on LA at the back to prevent their skill players from getting the ball in good positions.

13.  DC United (12) (3.18)

DC just can’t get it together, and they’re out of the playoffs… for now.

14.  Toronto (14) (2.95)

Toronto, on the other hand, can’t get it together and are out of the playoffs… until next season at least.

1)  Me.  I haven’t posted in a while.  Mojo is lacking, which is odd because the Crew are kicking butt.  My lack of mojo, however, has nothing to do with a lack of excitement about the Crew.  They are doing great and are awfully fun to watch right now.  Let’s hope they don’t let off the throttle too much before the end of the season.

2)  This column by Ridge Mahoney.  I’ve tried to puzzle out exactly what he’s saying, and it seems to boil down to this:  Who flippin’ cares who Bob Bradley calls in for the next World Cup qualifiers?  It doesn’t matter.  People complaining about Eddie Johnson being called in don’t get it.  People complaining about Adu and Altidore not getting called in don’t get it.  It just doesn’t matter.  The experience of playing for the national team just isn’t worthwhile.  Wins in WC qualifying don’t matter.  Nothing means anything.  Someone get Mahoneyhis Prozac!  Also, someone have a talk with his editor.  The title of the column is, “Weighing Bradley’s choices for World Cup qualifiers.”  Well, Mahoney weighs zero against zero and decides, have you noticed a theme, that it doesn’t matter!  Oh, and you fans don’t know anything anyway, so you’re just wasting your time talking about it.  Seriously, I’m worried for Mahoney’s mental health.

1.  Columbus (LW = 1) (PS = 7.61)

Laid a holy beat-down on the Red Bulls without Barros Schelotto.  Eddie Gaven played like he cares, and Robbie Rogers broke his scoring drought.  My only fear is that they coast into the playoffs and lose the momentum they’ve been building up over the last few weeks.

2.  Houston (2T) (6.19)

Houston takes the week off to take care of their town.  Kudos.

3.  New England (2T) (5.80)

New England gets a point at Colorado, which is precisely the kind of result they need to solidify their home field “advantage” in the first round.

4.  Chivas USA (8) (5.70)

Chivas lands in the revolving number 2 spot in the Western Conference with a win at Rice-Eccles.

5.  San Jose (6) (5.46)

Can they keep the mo’ going?

6.  Kansas City (9T) (5.11)

Well, what do you know?  Kansas City has put some distance between themselves and bottom-dwelling Toronto.  Can they make the playoffs?

7.  Chicago (5) (4.96)

Where’s the offense?  Where’s the defense?  Where’s the Fire?

8.  Colorado (7) (4.83)

Another team left-for-dead only a couple of weeks ago finds itself in possession of a playoff berth if the season were to end today.  But it doesn’t, and a win by San Jose (who have a game in hand) would displace them.

9.  New York (4) (4.67)

Worse than the scoreline was the difference in effort and execution between the Red Bulls and the Crew.

10.  Dallas (12T) (4.51)

Dallas still has some work to do, but a win at Chicago is a good start.

11.  Los Angeles (12T) (4.27)

One 5-2 victory and a hat trick from Landon Donovan does not a season make.  Wears the consistency LD?

12.  DC United (9T) (3.75)

They got screwed by a terrible red card against LA and frankly didn’t play that badly.  Instead, they ran into an LA team that was playing well together for the first time in, oh, three months.

13.  Real Salt Lake (11) (3.44)

Their poor recent performances are finally catching up to them in the standings, as they drop from a playoff spot for the first time in a while.

14.  Toronto (14) (2.80)

Sometimes, the solution isn’t bringing in new players.

1.  Columbus (LW = 1) (PS = 7.42)

As long as the “injury” (or desire not to play on an artificial surface) doesn’t extend beyond the Toronto match, the Crew look set possibly to clinch a playoff spot this weekend, if they win on Thursday against the Red Bulls and other games play out right.

2T.  Houston (2) (6.19)

Not losing at San Jose is a victory, believe it or not.  Look for Houston to clinch in a couple of weeks and coast into the playoffs.

2T.  New England (7) (6.19)

A schoolyard beating of Chivas USA makes one think that all is A-OK in Revs-land.

4.  New York (6) (5.56)

I can’t decide if Dave van den Bergh is underrated, or if he should be scoring even more often than he does.

5.  Chicago (3) (5.47)

Where are the fireworks and world-beating that were supposed to commence once McBride joined the Fire?  That being said, I don’t want to face them in the playoffs.

6.  San Jose (4) (5.46)

San Jose stay hot enough to grab a playoff spot in the West.  That’s not saying much, but all of the sudden a San Jose-Houston matchup in the Western Conference finals looks like a real possibility.

7.  Colorado (10) (5.27)

A surprise win against a strong road team in the Fire mixes up the Western conference even more.  I still just don’t see the Rapids closing the deal on a playoff spot (which means you should bet your life savings that the Rapids make the playoffs).

8.  Chivas USA (5) (4.75)

Chivas looked bad against New England … just bad enough to probably still get a playoff spot in the West.

9T.  Kansas City (12) (4.14)

Kansas City… just… won’t… die.  Then again, nothing turns the frown on a team upside down like a visit from the hapless Galaxy.

9T.  DC United (9) (4.14)

A tie at home against FC Dallas is nothing to write home about, but it still keeps them in good position to play Houston in the first round of the playoffs.  Wait, that’s not good.

11.  Real Salt Lake (8) (3.85)

I think that RSL will lose out to San Jose in the Western conference playoff race.  Just call it a hunch.

12T.  Los Angeles (11) (3.27)

How are the Galaxy not last?  Math seems to fail here.

12T.  FC Dallas (13) (3.27)

At least Kenny Cooper scored again.  Still, FC Dallas just don’t seem to have the manpower to pull it together this season.

14.  Toronto (14) (3.00)

Toronto manages only a tie against a somewhat-depleted Columbus team.  They needed more.

Thursday, September 11

New England (2.54) v. Chivas USA (2.77)

This one almost looks like a Chivas win, if my math is correct.  However, New England will get enough of a boost from the expected return of Steve Ralston to manage a point and get their playoff train back on the tracks.  Revs 1 – 1 Goats

Saturday, September 13

Toronto (2.17) v. Columbus (4.25)

Toronto’s home invincibility has been shattered over the last few weeks, and Columbus looks to pile on.  The game will be tight, but a late Columbus goal will put them over the top.  Toronto 1 – 2 Crew

Kansas City (2.30) v. Los Angeles (1.61)

Kansas City can’t score, but plays good defense.  LA plays bad defense, but scores.  Will this be a cagey, low-scoring battle, or a wide-open, high-scoring affair?  I predict the latter.  Wizards 4 – 3 Galaxy

DC United (3.23) v. FC Dallas (1.41)

Even a reeling DC is scary at home, and Dallas seems to have lost it’s teeth.  DC should keep its playoff cushion with three points here.  Eagles 2 – 0 Hoops

New York (3.78) v. Real Salt Lake (1.80)

Another case of East domination over the West should be in full effect when the Red Bulls welcome road-terrible RSL.  Red Bulls 3 – 1 RSL

San Jose (4.24) v. Houston (3.40)

Maybe the match of the week.  Red-hot ‘Quakes v. West-leading Dynamo.  The first of two, as the ‘Quakes head southeast next week.  Very exciting.  If San Jose can put a couple past the Dynamo, they should get the win.  Earthquakes 2 – 1 Dynamo

Sunday, September 14

Colorado (3.08) v. Chivas USA (2.77)

Can Chivas get three valuable points on the road?  Heck, can they get one valuable point on the road?  This one is right on the cusp, and I think that Chivas will be able to pull out a point.  (I know, this seems to break the quarter-point divide between wins and ties, but I think there should be some leeway between a quarter-point and a half-point.)

EDIT:  What on earth was I talking about re: this last game?

Anyway, on to the rankings!

1.  Columbus (LW = 1) (PS = 7.86)

Sure, we know that the Revs were tired and injury-riddled and all that, but Columbus wasn’t fully stocked either with Hejduk and Moreno busy with World Cup qualifying.  Nonetheless, the Crew put constant pressure on the Revs and turned in a butt-whipping unlike any that I’ve seen in my relatively short (two year) tenure as a hardcore Crew fan.  What is that strange sensation in my chest?  A heart attack, or is it merely hope?

2.  Houston (2) (6.75)

In the first half of the season, Houston tied game that they should have won.  Now, those games are being turned into three points.  Seriously, this isn’t just some invented storyline — I’m not just putting lipstick on a pig, for instance — Houston hasn’t tied a league match since July 3, and have won six of seven.

3.  Chicago (4) (6.42)

Chicago continues to get it done with defense.  They’ve allowed a league-low eighteen in twenty-three matches, and seem to subsist on 1-0 victories.  (Okay, that’s just an illusion — they have only four on the season.)  Nonetheless, the vaunted Blanco and McBride pairing, while alternately exciting and nauseating to hardcore fans of the U.S. national team and the Tricolores, isn’t the real story of a pretty darn good Fire season.

4.  San Jose (6) (6.14)

Guess who’s second in goals allowed this season?  You got it!  The ‘Quakes have allowed twenty-seven (a far cry from Chicago’s number), but truly stunning for an expansion team.  Also, their low goal output for the season as a whole explains why they’re finally excelling now — they had the defense, but needed offense.  Now that Darren Huckerby is doing his best Schelotto impression (one goal and one assist this past weekend), they’re the team no one wants to play.  Thankfully, the Crew doesn’t have to.

5.  Chivas USA (9) (5.41)

Chivas claws their way back to a playoff spot, but need to fend off San Jose if they want to stay there.  It’s a tough assignment for sure, and with four road games in their last seven, including road tilts with the Revs, DC United (deadly at home still), and, you guessed it, the ‘Quakes, it may well come down to the wire.

6.  New England (5) (5.26)

This week, we get to find out if the Revs are truly reeling, or if the beat-down by Columbus just pissed them off.  I think that a return to the field by stalwart Steve Ralston could have a major impact.  Personally, I like the Revs, so I hope that they manage to recover in time to be beaten again by the Crew during the playoffs.

7.  New York (3) (5.18)

After reeling off three straight wins, New York is getting back to early-season form with a loss and a tie in their last two.  The Red Bulls are still six points in the clear for a playoff spot, so they’re probably safe, but a schedule with two games against the Crew and one against the Fire remaining doesn’t do them too many favors.

8.  Real Salt Lake (8) (4.54)

RSL keeps on hanging around, getting a tie here and a win there whenever their postseason hopes look to be in danger.  They have work still to do, but it’s hard to bet against a team to make the playoffs when they are as strong at home as RSL.

9.  DC United (7) (4.48)

DC needs to get their feet back under them.  While they’re still in a good position for the playoffs, tied with the Red Bulls, they’re definitely struggling.  And the worst part for them is that they actually still have to participate in the CONCACAF Champions League.

10.  Colorado (14) (4.41)

Colorado, left for dead a week ago (when I called them the worst team in MLS), won on the road against FC Dallas last weekend.  And just as I was shocked — shocked! — then that they were three poins out of a playoff spot, I’m still shocked now.  The Rapids aren’t that good, but the West is so bad that no one is really out of it yet.

11.  Los Angeles (13) (3.57)

And when I say that no one is out of it yet, I’m talking about the Galaxy.  They’re four points out of a playoff spot, and Bruce Arena seems to have had the effect of raising the level of the defense to the point where they now allow precisely the same number of goals that they’re vaunted offense can score.  The Galaxy have it all to do now, but with the return from WCQ of Donovan and Beckham, they can still do it.

12.  Kansas City (11) (3.35)

On the other hand, I’m starting to lose faith that the Wizards will make anything of this season, as they look to be on the outside of the playoff picture looking in.  Yes, they have five matches left at home, and they’re a pretty decent home team, but they need results and they need them quickly.  The visit from LA should be fun to watch, as Hartman will have plenty of opportunities to make saves.

13.  FC Dallas (10) (3.32)

Oh, Dallas, what has happened?  Kenny Cooper went on a scoring jag for a few games and it looked like the Hoops might overcome a coaching change and the loss of an underperforming Juan Toja to Romania.  But then Cooper cooled off, and Dallas is just looking plain bad, losing to the Rapids at home.

14.  Toronto (12) (3.11)

Toronto got screwed.  Okay, I admit it.  They got shafted by the league in scheduling.  I hope this leads to changes in MLS’s treatment of international dates.  But look, Toronto wasn’t going to make the playoffs, even if they could get back the points that they lost this past weekend.

Anyway, weekly thoughts — what’s up with the Revs — tying at home against the Galaxy and then flaming out of the Champions League don’t look good.  That being said, not having to play Champions League games probably isn’t the worst thing in the world for any team trying to make a playoff push.  Blanco to McBride — GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL — and a loss.  San Jose keeps rising, and they’re now only 2 points out of the last playoff spot.  And Columbus is in sole possession of first.  Yea!  On to the rankings:

1.  Columbus (LW = 1) (PS = 7.60)

First to 40 points wins… what?  Columbus is looking really really good right now.  They’re scoring in bunches (two goals in three minutes against FC Dallas), definitely reasonably well (though I’d like to see them do better in the first 20 minutes of the game), and finding ways to come back when they’re down (though it would be nice if they’d stop going down early).  Lots of positives (but obviously not perfect).

2.  Houston (4) (6.49)

The blowout against the Red Bulls last week looks like a fluke, as Houston handled a very dangerous road team in the Fire.

3.  New York (3) (6.02)

Tying DC at RFK is nothing to be ashamed of, particularly in a tightly-contested match that could have gone either way (and that DC probably should have won).

4.  Chicago (2) (5.90)

Which is a sign of things to come: the Blanco to McBride hook-up for a goal, or the Fire’s inability to turn it into a result?  As much as I hate to say it, I’m going to guess the former.

5.  New England (5) (5.80)

Sure, it’s a point, but at home?  Against the team struggling the most in MLS right now?  Well, it shows both how flat New England is looking right now and dangerous Donovan, Beckham, and Co. can be.

6.  San Jose (7) (5.63)

When will they lose?  This week they host DC United, a team that’s typically quite bad on the road, so probably not yet.  The ‘Quakes look poised to steal a playoff spot.

7.  DC United (6) (5.01)

DC still can’t find the consistency they need.  And a Moreno miss on a PK?  Yikes!  It’s not like he scores from the run of play anymore…

8.  Real Salt Lake (10) (4.58)

RSL needed the win to right their ship after two straight losses and looking downright bad against Columbus.  I think they’re too strong at home to relinquish their grip on a playoff spot, even with only 3 of 8 remaining games at Rice-Eccles.

9.  Chivas USA (13) (4.28)

Another team that needed a win to keep their playoff dreams alive.  Chivas is unsteadily hanging in the final playoff spot, but both Dallas and San Jose are breathing down their necks.  Were I a Goats fan, I’d be psyched that they too were booted from the Champions League.

10.  FC Dallas (8) (4.07)

They found a way to lose at home against Columbus, despite having the bulk of shots.  I bet other teams are wondering why Cooper isn’t Cooper against the Crew.

11.  Kansas City (9) (3.68)

I should have known it was the kiss of death when I predicted that they’d make the playoffs.  Since then, they’ve rewarded my faith with a home tie and a road loss.  That won’t get it done.

12.  Toronto (11) (3.51)

The other team in the Eastern Conference cellar, Toronto looks to be in almost as bad a tailspin as KC.  That being said, both teams would be one point out of a playoff spot if they were in the West.  Instead, they’re six points out with 8 matches to play.

13.  Los Angeles (14) (3.35)

Hey, they’re not in the cellar anymore!  Way to go Galaxy.  Bruce Arena is in the house!

14.  Colorado (12) (3.16)

Colorado, the worst team in MLS, is three points out of the playoffs right now.  That’s absurd.